Thea Benthin: daughter, sister, mother, grandmother, aunt, great-aunt, teacher, friend. There are 4 people who I believe shaped me the most as a person, and you are one of them. You took my mind and my heart and my soul and you taught me the meaning of morality and kindness. You made everyone around you so happy and so confident in the person they were. You made me understand that mistakes make us who we are. You went through so much pain and so much suffering that all of our hearts broke.
And believe me, Grandma, I've tried to be mad at you, hoping that it might make the pain go away. Or maybe justify all of the things that I feel: love, gratefulness, confusion, and the worst sadness I have ever experienced. But you see, I also felt peace because I know that your suffering has ended and Grandpa can finally rest. He took care of you for so long that I think he forgot who he was. But he loved you so much that he would have given his soul for you to live just one day free from the wheelchair and the meds and your own body.
All I want is just one moment more for you to hold me and tell me that everything will be okay and that you love me. Because I never got a chance to hear it in my last moments with you. All I want is those 3 words.
I know that in time, the pain will fade and you will be a pleasant memory. But for now, Thea Benthin, Grandma, all I can do is miss you.
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